Everyone has a friend who's the red flag. If you can't think of one, we have news. Tick everything you've actually done and find out if you're a Green Flag, a Beige Flag or a full Public Safety Announcement.
Every box you tick raises one red flag. Zero means angelic. Twenty-five means your friends have a briefing document about you.
Everything happens in your browser. Nothing is uploaded, saved on a server, or sent anywhere. Your secrets stay on your device.
For entertainment only. Results are affectionate roasts, not psychology.
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Send this to the friend you think is the red flag. Then brace yourself.
Five flags, from Green to a full Public Safety Announcement. Affectionate roasts only. Nobody here is getting dragged.
“I'm the friend your mom asks about. Every time.”
You reply to texts the same day and return hoodies washed and folded. Nobody has ever had to check your location to see if you're actually on your way. Your friends trust you completely, which is honestly a little suspicious.
“Not a red flag. Just a very specific shade of beige.”
Nothing about you is alarming. It's just a lot of small, very specific things. You have a system for loading the dishwasher and you will explain it. Your "quick story" has a runtime. Harmless, lovable, deeply beige.
“I'm low maintenance. I just have a few requirements.”
You told everyone you're low maintenance while sending your coffee back for the second time. You want deep conversations but listen to voice notes on 2x speed. Your friends love you. They also have a separate group chat about you. Both things are true.
“I'm not the problem. I'm the plot.”
You've used "I'm just being honest" as a weapon at least twice this month. You brought receipts from 2019 to an argument about whose turn it was to buy snacks. You know exactly what you're doing, and you're doing it with full confidence.
“Not a red flag. A whole parade, and I'm leading it.”
Your friends brief new people about you before you arrive. You've been "5 minutes away" since last semester, and you once changed the rules of a board game mid-turn and won. Somehow you're still everyone's favorite person to tell stories about. You're not a red flag. You're the whole parade.
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